CeRPeNG edisi Ganu Kite

Dok pahang setarang...

Mamat rase malassang nök bangung tiddo. Nye gulling-gulling atah katil. Pusing kiri, pusing kanang. Serba dök kene dia berase. Mök Lijöh blèbèr hanyaar kot luör pitu,
“Mat! Matahari nök tinggi galöh döh nim, ka’ak rezeki kalu bangung lèwat-lèwat. Mung tak dök kheje ke ari nim?”

Dök tahang kene blèbèr Mamat Ppayang pong bikah bangung ceggat dari katil. Baru dia teringat pukol 11 ada kene wat kheje sikit hök Böh dia suroh kemarèng. Mamat pong jungaa tangang dia ambèk tuala. Pèsèngang mandi P. Ramlee pulök pagi nim, al maklunglah pukol 10.30 döh. Dari Manir nök jembe ke Jalang Batah Baru tu jauh jugök. Pah tu nök kena bereti stèsèng minyok Petronah pulök dekat sipang trapik lait Pulau Musang. Döp ingat starang nok tamböh minyök kemarèng.

Dök dang 10 minit Mamat siap belake döh. Minung air kopi-ö setegök dua lepah tu pakaa kasut kulit atah tangge kak lambo. Baru beli minggu lepah tu kasut tu. Bekilat ssiö! Lepah tu Mamat pong stak möto vroooooong hale ke bandö. Mötosika sèkèng hèng jer, tapi boleh tahang lah. Jalang Batah Baru ader banyök bangunang jabbat dengang kedaa. Kalu hale ke depang sikit ada kedaa Astro, hök tv kene bayö bulang-bulang tu. Kalu tebèng dök bayö jer kena pötöng hanyaar. Lepah pada suraa Flat Batah Baru tu ada lèrèk kedaa èkong. Kedaa makang pong ada gök. Kalu jallang sikit lagi sebelum kedaa Astro tu, ada kawasang lapang tepat juaa khète baru cap Hyundaa dengang Kia.

Di antara kedaa èkong dengang kedaa Astro tu ada celöh-celöh tu jabbat löyar baru buka. Pèsèngang baru pah jadi löyar tu Mamat mari mmkir sörrang. Slo-slo Mamat naèk tikat dua. Napök gaye ader dua örang jer kherani. Llaki sörang, ppuang sörang. Boleh tahang hök ppuang tu. Tapi pakaa cicing molèk ngak kat jari manih tu. Ttunang döh pèsèngang tu.. Dök napök gambö starang. Berat nnanang. Mamat kabö ke kherani ppuang tu dia nök jjuper Tuang Löyar. Hayat hidup Mamat dök rajing jjuper löyar skali habuk. Cakkak dengang löyar jauh skali.. Nye mari debö wèh. Mamat pong ketok pitu masok.

Löyar tu tengöh pegang gagang talipung cap Panasonic kat telinga dia. Wayar talipung tu tengöh beseranggöh lagi.
“I dah uruskan fixed deposit you sebanyak RM10 juta tu. Lagi satu, minggu depan ni, I nak you ikut I ke Singapore. HSBC Singapore dah buat arrangement untuk finance syarikat klien I, tak banyak, dalam 20 juta Sing dollar. Firm I jadi lawyer jugak tu. I turun KL minggu ni, kita dinner kat Shook di Starhill ok?”

Mamat bukang pandaa sangat cakak orang putih. Tapi bila dengö haa pitih die pahang. Mainang apa juta-juta nim? Mamat mari mmikir. Löyar muder tu pong letök gagang talipung sambil-sambil kheling ujung mata tengök ke Mamat.
“Yer, nök mender? Saya sibuk sangat ni, dök tengök ker?”
löyar tu tanye Mamat. Mamat pucat kesi. Dök tahu nök kata mende. Nök jawak salöh. Tak mboh jawak salöh. Macang mase nök bangung tiddo sakning. Serbe dök kene. Sudöhhang Mamat tebèng jugök jawak.

“Sebenörnyer tuang, sayer nim kheje dengang sarikat Teleköng. Saya mari nok sambung wayar talipung hök tuang wak lölök cakkak sakning. Dök sambung lagi wayar tu, guaner lah tuang boleh cakkak döh!”
Muka tuang löyar tu jadi biru hèrang! Döh nök wat guana starang! Nök èksèng dök betepat! Ada jugök löyar kècèk orang dèh!
Pecöh bo! Orang jamang lenim tkata “kantoi”! Hua hua...

Banduan kegersangan (lawak mmg hampeh)

Seorang banduan baru saja berjaya melarikan diri dari penjara setelah dipenjarakan selama 20 tahun. Dalam perjalanannya, dia terjumpa sebuah rumah dan memecah masuk kedalamnya untuk mencari duit. Tetapi yang ditemukan hanyalah sepasang pengantin baru yang sedang tidur di atas katil mereka.

Banduan itu mengarahkan pengantin lelaki turun dari katil dan mengikatnya dikerusi. Kemudian sambil mengikat pengantin perempuan di katil, banduan itu mencium lehernya, dan terus bergegas ke bilik mandi.

Sementara banduan berada di bilik mandi, pengantin lelaki berbisik kepada isterinya: "Isteriku, dia adalah banduan yang melarikan diri dari penjara. Lihat saja baju yang dipakainya, dia mungkin sudah lama dipenjara dan tentu sudah lama tidak menyentuh wanita. Dari cara aku lihat dia mencium lehermu, dia ingin melakukan hubungan seks denganmu, jangan menolak, jangan mengeluh, lakukan sesuai dengan keinginannya, berikan kepuasan. Orang ini merbahaya, jika marah, dia pasti membunuh kita. Jadi bertahanlah sayang.. Abang cintakan ayang.."

Sambil tersenyum, pengantin perempuan membalas,

"Dia bukannya mencium leherku. Tapi dia berbisik ke telingaku. Dia cakap, dia ni homo dan katanyanya abang seksi sekali dan dia bertanya dimana saya simpan body lotion? Saya jawab di bilik mandi. Bertahanlah sayang. Ayang cintakan abang juga.

Cerita Lucu: Blues Suami Isteri

Masa aku wat BW pagi ni aku ada terbaca cerita lucu ni dari sorang blogger yang mengelarkan dirinya 'Marhaen Kacak'... sekacak mana orangnya aku tak pasti.. tapi yang penting kat sini, aku nak kongsi kat blog aku plak..

Al kisahnya......


Sepasang suami isteri baru jer bercerai dan mereka bertengkar untuk tentukan hak
penjagaan anak tunggal mereka, Ahmad Fadhullah yg berumur 1 tahun. Pas tu mereka pun pegi lah ke pejabat agama untuk berjumpa denga kadi.....

Kadi tanye kat pompuan tu.....
"Kenapa awak rasa awak yang paling layak bela anak tu?

Pompuan tu jawab.....
"Saya yang mengandungkan anak tu. saya yang melahirkan anak tu.
dia keluar dari perut saya."

Si jantan (suami) terkedu sebab dia tau pas ni kadi akan tanye dia lak...
ahhh.... sudah... mende aku nak goreng kadi ni.....(dalam hati)

Kadi pun tanye si jantan...
"Hah... kamu.... bagi alasan kenapa anak tu kamu yang patut bela"

"Tuan kadi... kalaulah saya ada syiling seringgit, dan saya 'masukkan' dalam vending machine......."

sambung si suami lagi......

"kemudian, lepas saya tekan satu butang pilihan, maka keluarlah setin air minuman....."

"Saya nak tanye tuan.. air tin yang keluar dari mesin tu hak saya atau hak mesin?"


Jawab kadi.. "Hak kamu le.."

Jantan tu kata lak....

"HAH...KALAU GITU USTAZ. SAMA LAH MACAM KES SAYA NIH!!!!"


TAMMAT alkisahnya.....




Marhaen Kacak : Pusing kot mane pun orang laki2 ni bijak mencari jalan penyelesaian....mueheheheh.......

Cerita Lawak: Antara TNB dan Lilin

Sepasang pengantin yang baru berkahwin 4 bulan.

Pada suatu malam si isteri memeluk leher suami dengan nada manja seraya berkata, "Ayang,period i dah lewat sebulan, tapi i tak boleh nak pastikan lagi sebab kita kena gi check kat doktor."

Si suami yang teramat gembira tu pun berpakat
dengan isterinya untuk tidak memberitahu sesiapa
pun tentang perkhabaran gumbira ini sehingga
ianya benar-benar pasti.

Pada suatu hari, pasangan ini di datangi oleh
pegawai dari TNB kerana terdapat tunggakan
dalam pembayaran bill elektrik rumah mereka.

Pegawai TNB tu pun berkata: "Ini rumah En. Ahmad
ker?" "Ya, saya ni isterinya. Ada apa encik?"

Pegawai TNB tu pun berkata, "Puan, ni dah sebulan
lewat, saya dah tak boleh tunggu ni, nanti boss
saya marah."

Dengan nada terkejut, si isteri itu pun membalas
balik cakap pegawai TNB tu.

"Apa? Macam mana pulak encik tahu yg saya ni
sebulan lewat?!"

Pegawai TNB tu pun dengan selamba menjawab:
"Ala puan, ni kan zaman IT, semua tu ada dalam
komputer dan kita boleh check Online"

Kata-kata pegawai TNB tu membuatkan si isteri tu
lagi terkejut. "Apa!!! Saya lewat sebulan pun
awak semua boleh tahuuu!"

Pegawai TNB tu pun mententeramkan keadaan
"Relek puan, puan ni baru lewat sebulan, ada
yang lagi teruk, lewat 5-6 bulan"

Si isteri yang terperanjat beruk dengan kenyataan
pegawai tu pun berkata, nanti saya bincang dengan
suami saya. Lalu pegawai TNB tu pun beredar
dari situ.

Keesokan harinya, selepas si Ahmad ini di beritahu
oleh isterinya. Dia pun naik berang dan terus ambik cuti
dan pergi ke kedai TNB yang berdekatan.

Dengan tanpa menghiraukan pegawai-pegawai
TNB yang ramai di situ, dia pun memekik seraya
berkata,

"Apa korang ni, isteri saya sebulan lewat pun
nak heboh-hebohkan ke dalam Internet. Awak ni
semua yang berkeluarga tak pernah lewat sebulan
kerrrr?!! Bisness apa korang buat niii?
Nak kena saman kerr?

Lalu pegawai yang datang kerumah si Ahmad ni
berdiri dan mententeramkan keadaan. "Sabar encik,
sabar encik. apa susah, kalau cik nak settlekan
perkara ni, bayar je..." kata-kata pegawai TNB tu
membuatkan si Ahmad lagi naik berang.

"Apa? nak bayar korang? belahhhh lahh...."

Lalu pegawai TNB tu pun cakap "Kalau macam tu,
Kita terpaksa 'potong' encik punya...."

Si Ahmad mencelah "apa? potong?! Abih tu isteri
saya di rumah nak pakai apa?"

Pegawai TNB tu pun cakap " nampak gayanya
isteri encik kena pakai LILIN ajer laaaa...."

=TAMAT=

Cerita: Kisah Harimau Di Kelantan

(Cerita ni aku copy & paste dari blog kekawan blogger)

Pada masa yang lampau dan dahulu, maka terdapat la di suatu kampung yang aman lagi bersih. Kampung ini terletak di KELANTAN. Pada masa itu, haji Amran Arsyad menjadi seorang ketua kampung yang adil lagi saksama. Mahu dijadikan cerita, kampung ini diserang harimau belang. Harimau ini telah membaham ramai manusia. Tak cukup manusia haiwan ternakan juga ia makan. Ketua kampung menjadi semakin resah dan takut. Dengan satu suara terus memanggil semua orang kampung.
Maka datanglah semua penduduk kampung itu. Tok ketua telah memilih 3 orang wira kampung yang sudahpun berkahwin.

Tok ketua : Asan, Taib, Nodin, male(malam) ni mu buat la gapo2(apa2) sebab ore(orang) kapung(kampung) stuju doh mu ore di jadikan hero besok. Esok mu ore bawok la gapo2 dehh..
Asan, Taib, Nodin : bereh bohhh!!!

Pada malam itu, Asan dan Taib telah memesan isteri mereka supaya memasak lauk pauk yang sedap2 dek kerana esok nya dah nak kena tangkap rimau. Pada keesokan hari nya mereka bertiga berkumpul di rumah tok ketua.

Tok ketua: Hoh.. mari dowh awok2 ni blako. hoh mu asan, gapo dio mu bawok tuh?

Asan : golok tok!!!! pada masa yang sama sang belang turut berada di semak berhampiran dan terdengar perbualan mereka itu.
Harimau(dalam hati) : Golok?? ahhh.. stakat golok tu, dop(tidak) takut la aku.

Tok ketua : hoh mu taib, gapo pulok mu bawok tu?

Taib : Kawe bawo bedil(senapang). kalu kawe napok(nampak) dio kawe hente(hentam) dio tok.

Harimau : Bedil?? xdan kau bedil kau aku baham.

Tok ketua: bagus2. hoh mu nodin, mu ni blenggang je mu bawok gapo
Nodin: kawe x bawak gapo2 tok. kawe bawok batang pelir je tok.
Harimau : Hoh ? Batang Pelir apo dio plok(pulak) mnate senjato tuh??

hoh.. ini nok keno tanyo ni.. Lalu harimau pun lintang pukang lalu berada lah dio di perkarangan rumah Nodin. Kebetulan isteri Nodin tengah menyidai baju di ampaian, lalu terus harimau menerkam. terkejut isteri lalu menjerit… ..

Isteri Nodin: tulunnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!… .

Harimau : Ehhh kak, jgn jerit kak… kawe nok(nak) tanyo satu benda je. kak jangan takut. kawe dop make kakok.

Isteri Nodin: Gapo dia dik rimau… .??

Harimau : Kak, Gapo dio batang pelir tuh kak??

Isteri Nodin: Huh Biso. kalu mu keno, mu histeria kesakitan, kekejangan. kalu dia doh tembok(tembak) silap hari bulan perut mu busung 9 bulan. antara mati hidup je mu. comform..

Harimau bila dengar jer isteri nodin cakap macam tu terus dia gabra dan lintang pukang la harimau ini mencabutkan dirinya ntah kemana.

The Story of Mine: My First

Before aku start menempelkan journal aku ni kat blog aku, aku dah terpaksa edit, delete, eliminate, adjust, repair dan beberapa terms lagi la yg aku sendiri tak reti nak sebut supaya ianya bersesuaian dengan suhu persekitaran dan suhu hati beberapa insan yang terpaksa aku kisahkan.. Pada mulanya aku malas nak tempel journay ni dalam blog aku. Tapi kemudian aku fikir apalah  salahnya meyemakkan dan memadatkan isi blog aku.. tapi yang penting beberapa perkara aku terpaksa amik kisah.. asalnya journal ni panjanggggggggg berjela tapi setelah di cut, cut, cut , then inilah hasilnya..

My First..

This is my own stories and I didn’t expecting someone, anyone or everyone will read through this journal. My intention is only to write it down for my own memorable asset and just to keep it by myself. So I decided to write it down. I’m more comfortable to write it in english even though I know and maybe somebody also  know that my english is very poor.. but who’s care.. This is my own writing and my own stories so I decided to write it as ‘broken english’ as it could be and as a simple english as I can do.. haaa... ha...

I will always keep updating this journal every time I remembered something that really give a mean to my life..

Today is 10^TH JULY 2009

My first branded bra that I had was Bee Dees from Triumph. I’m not sure how I get it but I still remember that one is my first bra that I bought by myself.. That is one during my form 4 in MRSM KT. As long as remember I never tried buying any bra by myself except for that bra until I feel that I’m old enough to get help from my mom to buy it.

I’m still remember the first and the last bra that was bought by my big sister Ina is Skiva and I still remember it was half cup bra and its look very nice on my breast.. haaa.... thanks Ina.. I’m sure you already forgot about it because it was long time ago when I was study in Seremban for my english intensive course right after my SPM. On that time I always be penyibuk lepaking at your bujang house in Shah Alam before you are marrying abang Nazri. Now you already have 3 sons and one daughter.

My first cinta monyet is when I was in form 4 in MRSM KT. It’s really like “hidung tak mancung, pipi tersorong-sorong”. Even though till now I’m not really can see how it is look like but I know the meaning. My ‘Mr. Not Right’, I had really like seeing you everyday.. make my heart beat faster... haaa...ha... but it’s only me.. he doesn’t know anything pun.. haa... Perasan syok sorang-sorang.. heeee malunya.. I’m not an attractive girl pun...!!!

My first true love la ni kononnya .. is with someone called Mr. Z. Thanks for teaching me how to love and how to be loved by someone special. That‘s happened during I was continue my study in KYPM KL in 1995. That’s year I can name it as “flower-flowers years”.. ha..  haa……..I’m sure everyone who had been fall in love will said the same thing. I also agree that the first love is really-really-really our love and I also agree that the first love is realy suck !! especially if we are not meant to be!! It’s really hurts...  

My fisrt receiving call from Mr. Z after 10 years he left me is on malam Hari Raya last year. He’s asking for apologize for betraying our love. Even though I cannot accept all the reasons why he choose ‘her’ instead of me but it’s really doesn’t matter anymore.. I’ve my own life and I already have my lovely family with only ONE my loving husband and three lovely kids.

My first handphone is made of Erricsson.. it’s was year 1998. it’s much heavier than now days handphone and its easier getting hot.. haaa.. always make me headacne after do talking for a few minute... haaa...haaa

He (Mr. Z) should know why I did bought that handphone..  look.. how’s stupid I am.. love is blind.. I’m not really believe in long distance relationship..  that’s why I need to call him everyday... stupid.. stupid.. But now I had learn that anything stupid things and anything bad that had happened on that time would have something good behind of it.  Just let it be and never regret it...

My first eyes shadow is from cover girl brand. It was bought when I was in KYPM KL in 1995.  I believe that now that brand is never exist anymore especially in Malaysia’s market. I’m not sure why, but I still have one strip of colour of that cover girl eyes shadow.

My first choice colour of make-up is, of course natural earth colours.  That’s why my first favourite brand of make up is Body Shop. I used to used that brand before but now.. think twice maa if want to buy it.. haaa... Further more I was shy to used bling-bling colour.. haaa.. like makcik-makcik. Again furthermore, I already have and always have natural beauty so no need the bling-bling colours... haaa.... haaa  perasan sendiri...

Thank you for my friend Dollyzai for open my eyes that we still can be “sweet” in a “brutallity” suit or dress. It’s doesn’t  matter either we are ‘ganaz’ or what but we still need to be beautiful in our own way....  haaaa.... now  I believe I’m more ‘manis dan ayu’ than before especially after we are finishing our scholling days ..  During schoolling time no time to make up.. always sweating.. sport maa... go..go... sport!!!

The first time I‘m became a motorcyclist on the road was on 29th June 2009 (it was last week ) and first time I top up a fuel to a motorcycle was a day before yesterday (8th July 2009) is was after almost 32 years. I never top up a fuel to a motorcycle of my entire life.. It’s really awesome.. I can’t believe my own eyes that I just need to used RM2 to get the fuel.  Oh my godness.. Normally RM20 is not enough for my car for one week to travel from home to my work place.. And this is the first time, after 6 years I’d been working here, I realize that so many pocket money that I can save all this years... $$$$$$$$$.. I can be mata duitan.. haa..ha..

My first sport that I used to play for representating my Scholl was hockey.. That was when I’m in standard 4 in SK Batu 48 Dungun. Why do I stop playing hockey? Because in one of the tournament that I went through, someone accidently hit my head with her hockey stick. Then I continue my title as a sport girl with playing netball till I was in form 5.  Just because of my height is extra ordinary as compared with the other girl (During primary school je la....) it give me an advantage to hold the position as GK, GD, GS and GA and also captain to my team. Other than that I also active in other kinds of sports. Not need to mention here la....

My first tennis’s couch was Mr. Z. That one during I’m still studying in KL. Thank you for teach me and couched me on that.. and thank you for the tennis racket that you give me as a gift .. sayang la tu kononnyer…  I’m not sure where is it now..  maybe ‘reput’ already... haaa... Eventhough I’m not really good in sport which is used hand equipment but luckily I had an opportunity to gain an experienced on how to play tennis. I rather used my hand to slap and used my leg to kick someone.. if only it’s necessary...  haa

When the first time, I had been introduced to martial art (self defend skill), Tae Kwan Do, I really fall in love with it.. That is one during form 4 in MRSM KT. Even though it’s look like too late for me to start that skill but luckily with my involvement in sport before help me a lot in body flexibility and the strength to break something.. haa.. .. (Always broke something when I get angry and when I mengamuk sakan… haa….),it really help me a lot and it give me an advantage to skip a few levels till now I’m holding a junior black belt. Thanks for my instructor in MRSM KT, sorry I’m really forgot his name, but I can still remember his seksi moustache. Also thanks for my instructor in UTP.. but that time I’m not really have a heart to go through it anymore.. ala dah shy-shy cat ... Furthermore I want to maintain being a sweet girl maaaa... haaaa...haaaaaa ..

When first time I meet my husband I never thought that he will be my future husband. I have no interest at all towards him.. he’s look so skinny and fairer than mine.. Not my taste at all... never mine laaa.. if he is just want to be a friends of mine then it’s ok but please not more than that.. that was my first expression on him..   But actually if I recall back at that moment, he’s look nice and very humble.. he’s all in blue... haaa...

My first facial wash is Kao Biore, I can’t remember when did I start used it but it was during my secondary school. I still remember that mok and ayoh did visiting me at hostel in MRSM KT and bring along some stuff for me including that lucky facial wash. But as far as know my face never be shine and glory just because of that facial wash. All I know is that I already have natural beauty, inside and outside.. haaaa..

My first pregnancy was just right after we got married. I’m not really happy about it because I’m not prepared to be a mother, furthermore I’m not so happy when my status as a “single” suddenly change to a “isteri orang” at that time. All my entire life changed... I never though that being a wife to someone even to someone we already fall in love with is also very hard. I need time to make myself comfortable with that title and enjoying our honeymoon time for a year first, then we talked about having a baby. That’s our agreement... After a few weeks then, I had my miscarriage …

My first baby was Intan Nurliyana binti Badri.. She is our expecting new born baby. We had my lovely baby after almost two years of our marriage. She’s was born at Hospital Besar Kuala Terengganu (HB KT) on 29^th April 2005 at 2.30 am. Even though I was plan to delivere the baby at Hospital Daerah Dungun, which near to my house and my father and my sis Ina was working there but as usually we only can be planned but Allah Maha Mengetahui.. Because of after 12 hours I was floated with water but the pain still isn’t there yet, and the baby still inside so they was decided to transfer me to HB KT. I can’t believe that I have my own baby. I’ve never imagine to become a mother.. Thanks God…Allhamdullilah… When the first time I touch and hold you I cannot describe how it feels but I know that feeling only mothers know…. Let cherish for all mothers in this world.  Especially is for our own mother. Thank you mok for keeping me warm and comfort me when I need you. I think all the mothers will make a promise to be a good mother to their kids…right or not?? My answer is Yes, but I still cannot understand why are some mother broke that promise.. Maybe they have their own reason.. but please make it logic maaa…..

Intan now is 4 years old.. and she already have a brother, Nasrul  2 years old and a sweet younger sister Wani, 8 moths old..

The first time when my husband saw our first new born baby, Intan is when he arrived in HB KT on that morning which is 6 hours after our baby taking breath by herself. I can see the big smile on his face. You’re look very happy ….He’s cannot make it on time to see me delivered our first baby because he’s from Ipoh on that night. Even though I feel a bit disappointed but I was so proud to introduce you to our baby and she’s actually the proof of our love. I can still remember you look so exhausted on that day.. But you still smile at me and our baby all day long. Thanks my love… Even though she’s is the new comer in our life and you are more excited about her but I never miss even a bit or a second from your eyes (attraction). I know how much you love me and I’ll try my best to give it back to you too. Hopefully our love will be last forever and ever and we will be faithful to each other.

My first menstrual is when I was standard 5. I think I can be categorizing as ‘early matured’. It’s very hard to be matured girl in ‘girly’ world…  I still remember at that time during my ‘jahil‘stage, I’m so scared to see blood on my panties but I’m afraid to tell anyone.. so I took one of my sister “modes” (pad) but I don’t know the right way  to wear it.. so I tear the pad until the cotton inside come out then I took that cotton then put it on my private part.. I thought everything is settle… haaaa… haa.. Then after a few moment, when my sister came in and look at some cotton everywhere (scattered) in her room the she start asking a lot of questions. Then with the ‘jahil’ and pity face I admit that I took one of her pad. The problem is settled then…. Luckily I have a good big sister.. Thanks Ida…

Actually other than that ‘pad’, I also had used several stuff of my big sister secretly. One of that is facial crème ‘Hazeline snow’.. Maybe some of us very familiar with that name, but I bet my daughter Intan will never know about that kind of brand when she grow up. I still remember at that time the tv commercial introduce Datin Tiara Jackelina as the product’s ambassador.. She was walking at the sea shore with the white horse. I was so attracted with that tv commercial at that time.. if I’m not mistaken it was before i’m in kindergarten yet.. so long time ago.. early 1980s.

Cerita Lawak: Surat untuk abg dan ayang

memula skali ayang anto kat abang?

Dear abang,

Ayang nak mintak kebenaran abang untuk bawa anak-anak balik ke kampung. abang tak perlu hantar ayang sebab ayang mampu untuk bawa anak-anak ke kampung musim cuti sekolah ni dengan bas.. abang jagalah diri abang dan kereta abang baik-baik... cuma ada perkara yang ingin ayang luahkan disini... kereta baru abang tu mahal.. harga mencecah 100k barangkali.. sebab tu abang sayangkan kereta abang lebih dari ayang.. sampaikan abang dah terlena dalam kereta abang tu sejak abang beli 3 bulan yang lalu dah masuk 3 malam... abang sayangkan kereta abang lebih dari ayang, nak tau ngape?

Harga kereta abang tu lebih mahal dari wang hantaran yang ayah ayang letakan masa kita kahwin dulu.. cuba hantaran ayang lebih mahal dari harga kereta abang?

Tiap-tiap pagi abang mesti gosok kereta abang, nak nampak berkilat..tapi ayang nak dapat kiss g.morning pun susah

Sejak beli kereta tu, sebulan sekali macam-macam aksesori abang beli kat kereta, ayang nak dapat hadiah besday setahun sekali pun susah..

Kereta sebulan sekali abang servis, abang kata kena jaga maintainance...ayang nak dapat pi salon setahun sekali pun susah..

Kereta abang make up lawa-lawa.. tapi kalau ayang make up lawa-lawa abang kata ayang tak sedar diri kereta abang bagi makan minyak mahal-mahal cecah 100 setin pun ada, ayang nak makan pizza sekeping jer masa mengidam anak kedua kita abang kata ayang mengada-ngada.

Kereta abang kalau anak-anak sentuh sikit bodynya abang marah anak macam nak makan, ayang jatuh longkang besar boleh abang gelak

Paling menyedihkan.. ayang tanya ngape tidur dalam kereta? abang jawab takut orang curi kereta abang.. kalau ayang kena curi??

Ayang nak balik kampung dulu.. anak-anak nak jumpa atuk dengan nenek depa.. tak nak naik kereta abang takut calar.. ayang calar takpe.. jaga diri elok-elok, sarapan ayang dah sediakan. ayang pi tak lama sekolah bukak ayang balik lah dengan anak-anak.. pesanan ayang..

ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU MASAKKAN MAKAN KESUKAAN ABANG

ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU BASUHKAN PAKAIAN ABANG

ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU GOSOKAN KEMEJA ABANG

ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU SIAPKAN AIR MANDI ABANG

ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU KEMASKAN RUMAH ABANG

ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU URUT-URUT BADAN ABANG

ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU TEMANKAN ABANG TIDUR

Love,

ayang

ni abang lak bagi....

Dear Ayang,

Bukanlah abang sayang keta tu lebih dr ayang.. tapi ayang kene faham keta tu keta bos abang. Nanti kalau ilang sapa nak ganti.. ayang abang suruh keja ayang xnak, ayang kata nak dok umah jaga anak,nak siap kan sarapan nak kemas umah tapi ayang tiap2 hari bgn tido kul 12.. macam mana nak wat keja umah..

Cuba lah ayang pk mana x abang tido dalam keta.. abang balik keja lambat skit ayang dah kunci pintu..bukan nye abang gi foya2 kan abang gi keja...lagi satu pasal piza yang ayang ngidam tu.. ayang nak piza yg di oder dr jepun.. mana lah abang ada duit nak oder.. abang nak bg apam balik yg jual kat depan ofis abang ni ayang xnak, ayang nak jugak piza dr jepun.. nasib baik abang x belikan kalau x anak kedua kita tu mesti muka cam doremon..ish xnak laa abang..

Pasal hadiah kan abang dah belikan tapi abang sembunyi kan kat dapur.. ayang yang tersalah buang ingatkan sampah... tulah abang suruh kemas umah tu ayang kata umah kita dah bersih tapi hadiah dgn sampah pun dah jadi serupa jek..hadiah tu mahal tau abang beli untuk ayang..

Sebenarnye abang sayang ayang lebih dr keta tu wlau pun hantaran masa kita kawin cuma rm8k..ayang x tau bpe kali abang turun naik bank nak wat loan rm8k..tapi demi ayang abang wat jugak..

sbb masa tu ayang kalau mekup mmg sebijik maya karin.. tapi sejak ayang wat rebonding 3 tahun lepas stp kali ayang mekup abang terbayang lak muka pontianak dlm citer phsm.. bukan ayang x cantik tapi kening ayang tu gi cukur wat per.. wlau pun abang selalu cukur janggut abang tapi ayang xyah laa nak cukur kening ayang tu...pasal morning kis tu, ayang bgn pun dah tghri nak morning kis cam mana.. dah laa ayang.. abang malas nak citer..

Tapi abang nak bg tau jgk kat sini ayang tetap no 1 dlm hati abang..nanti kalau naik bas tu bebaik.. ayang nak balik kpg abang izinkan Cuma jgn lupa kim salam kat mak ayah kat sana . kalau ada gulai tempoyak ke nnti jgn lupa bwk balik skit..

Kalau ada lembu terlepas ke ayang xyah laa susah2 gi kejar lembu tu... biar jek.. nnti abang balik kpg abang kejar kan .bukan apa takut lembu tu tanduk ayang nnti bukan stakat calar jek silap2 leh masuk hspital. abang kene tanduk xpe..

Jaga anak2 baik2 jgn bagi diorang main kat sungai musim2 banjir ni.. nak dpt anak bukan senang takut nnti ayang ngidam lagi piza jepun lak lagi haru.. baik jaga jek yg dah ada tu..ayang pun jaga diri baik2.. jgn sampai jatuh longkang lagi.. hehe.. abang mmg xnak ketawa masa tu tapi nak wat cam mana ayang jatuh kepala dulu yang masuk longkang..dah laa rambut ayang masa tu baru lepas rebonding.. mmg abang ketawa...hahahhahahahahha